Monday, October 12, 2009

Operation Killer Verde

DATE: 10.18.2009
TIME: 0900-1300

In recent weeks, the situation at the US-Mexico border has become increasingly unstable. The notorious cartel known as Mi Vida Loca has lurked in the shadowy underbelly of the drug world until now. After the assassination of its rival leaders, the MVL has become the most ruthlessly powerful force to contend with. The border towns have been laid waste in a bloody and merciless war that's left the streets littered with shell casings and rotting corpses. Rumors are abound that experienced mercenaries of countless world conflicts are in the employ of the MVL.

Panicked, the Mexican president was pressured by the military to declare marshal law. This gave the Mexican military brass full authority over how to handle this new threat. In a perverted, almost sadistic fashion, the Mexican military forces have methodically harassed and razed villages suspected of collaborating with the MVL. This civil unrest and violence has caught the attention of watchful eyes of the US, who have already dispatched a company of soldiers along the border. Neither side of the fence wants to fire into the other side, lest they start an international incident.

Taking advantage of the situation, the MVL deploys anti-government tactics throughout the rural countryside. This hearts and minds campaign has rallied a sizeable resistance force sympathetic to the MVL cause.


Translated from the spray-painted scrawlings of a Mi Vida Loca cartel soldier along the walls of an abandoned water tower:

What started out as a relaxing Sunday morning after an all-night fiesta with the heinas calientes, quickly turned into a hellish firefight on two fronts! The jefe, Senor Juan Valdez, had me rough up a captured Federal soldier caught stealing some of our cash crops near the old water tower. He needed to be taught a lesson. After giving the pig soldier my infamous backhand across the face, I received another call from Juan Valdez over the radio. ANDALE! ANDALE! The National Defense Army was out for blood! Juan Valdez is not one to back down from a fight, so he rounded up the muchachos and headed straight for them!

With our forces divided, there was no way we could allow our merchandise to fall into enemy hands. I had no choice but to package all of ripe merchandise and distribute them amongst the hombres. Lo siento, Amatsu, but you're going to have to lug this package with you. Anxious for a fight like an eager chihuahua, he was quick to comply. As we were packing up and ready to burn our crops, the muchachos shot at gringos. Gringos in my fields? Pinche bendejos!

Onikage was the first to make contact, nearly stepping over a gringo soldier as he was investigating our crops. The rest of the boys opened fire on the gringos, letting all hell break loose. The diablo himself would have sh*t his pantolones! No way will the MVL give up our precious crops without a fight! It was funny to some of the new peasant recruits in action. Armed with second-hand Vietnam-era M16s and hunting rifles, these farmers pushed back the US Army! Dios mio! One MVL soldier, armed rocket launcher, wiped out an entire squad of US soldiers hidden behind a row of trees. Not a bad shot at all!

Amidst all the excitement and cheering, some of the muchachos got distracted. One highly trained gringo soldier was able to mow down several over-enthusiastic MVL members. Idiotas! The former kickboxing champion Sufirumi, known for his shins of steel, ran to their aid. One by one, he carried them off to safety as they screamed for their madres. Maricons! MVL don't have madres! The closest thing they had to a madre was McFleri, yelling out orders to fight back! We couldn't afford to let the gringos take our water tower, as it was a key strategic point in our operations.

After hours of fighting in the blazing sun, we got lazy, so we cut a deal with the gringos. They want our drugs. We want the Federal army off our azz. Done deal! Not a bad deal at all, eh? Besides, I was still hungover from the night before and didn't feel like shooting Federali pigs! So I setup my hamock and looked down into the valley as the combined forces of the MVL charged head-on with the National Defense Army. They were fucked. One by one, I could see those pinche cowards surrendering in the distance. It was a very proud day for Mi Vida Loca. Kojak, Sufirumi, and I celebrated by firing his fancy gas-powered M4. Kojak was kind enough to share water with all the young recruits on both the gringo side as well as the MVL side. Muchas gracios, amigo!

Aye caramba, today was a blast! Gracias to todo mis amigos in IPA for making this possible. Action packed airsoft isn't the same without everyone involved. I give it up to CAG, CROW, L4D, MZDS, FSU, and everyone who participated in this firme event. Buena suerte and valla con dios, boys!

Agente out.

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